Weve said it before. Well say it again. Reality TV is a dish best served dramatic. And after the women unleashed a fangs-out melee in last weeks boardroom brouhaha ultimately, mob daughter Victoria Gotti got shelved we can now rest assured that Celebrity Apprentice has reclaimed its patented Ill-stab-you-in-the-back-to-get-ahead mojo.
Having suffered two straight losses to start the season, the womens team is in dire need of a victory entering the third week of competition. It was not fun, says Miss Universe Dayana Mendoza, having just escaped Trumps wrath in the boardroom. Comedian Lisa Lampanelli, after going all psycho-chick on Gotti, spells out the womens teams objective going forward: Weve gotta kick those mens asses.
Magician Penn Jillette, the mens project manager on their last task, delivers a $20K check to his charity, Opportunity Village, a non-profit serving those with intellectual disabilities, after which the two teams convene and are given their next task. Trump explains: The men and women are going to be designing and staging a live window display, a.k.a. window dressing. The displays, which will be located in the Fifth Avenue windows of department store Lord & Taylor, are to showcase Trumps daughter Ivankas clothing and accessory line. Window dressing seems like a foreign concept to comedian Adam Carolla, who has now returned from his mysterious absence last week. I thought it was somewhere between ranch and Thousand Island, he says. Ivanka and Lord & Taylors Scott Devine will be judging the task on creativity, brand messaging and overall presentation. And who will be project managers this week?
Meet the 2012 Celebrity Apprentice Contestants
On the womens side, Mendoza steps up and accepts the challenge. Jerseys finest lady, Teresa Giudice, having hoped to lead the team, is hardly pleased. The girl from Jersey cant get a chance, she says. The men decide to go with absurdly slow-spoken Star Trek alum George Takei. Why? Because, well, as Carolla says, hes gay. We will boldly go where we havent gone before, Takei says in a Trek-ian intonation.
The teams break off to plot out their displays. Despite Mendoza being project manager, its once again reality TV star Aubrey ODay who takes a vocal role. ODay suggests a timeless theme, whereby the womens displays will follow a day in the life of a woman in power, like Ivanka Trump. Not all the women are pleased with ODays assertive nature. It was the Aubrey show, says Eighties pop princess Debbie Gibson.
The men arent all that cohesive, either, and it seems to be stemming from Takeis unassertive demeanor. George is a little bit slower to process information, says American Idols Clay Aiken. The men ultimately decide to go with a Day and Night idea, which will include Jillettes genius idea: Twins. Ive seen smoke, Ive seen wind, Ive seen robot movement, Jillette says, flexing his window-display knowledge guns. But I havent seen twins. The men aim to show Ivankas clothing line as adaptable to both a business and nightlife setting. Naturally, identical twins partaking in both activities makes sense, right?
The women, meanwhile, decide that Mendoza and ODay will serve as models in their window displays. Gibson wants to get in on the action, but Mendoza politely tells her she doesnt fit the brands 25-35 demographic. (Translation: shes too old). At this point the women must split up. Half go to Brooklyn to help construct the physical sets, while the other half pick out the clothing and help style the models theyve hired. Once in Brooklyn, Lampanelli points out that the sets are much smaller than the women had initially thought. The womens grand ambitions must be scaled down. Donald Trump Jr. visits the womens squad to check in, but hes a bit puzzled by what he sees. The ladies think they have a theme, but I have no idea what it is, he says.
The mens team is also split into two halves. Carolla, who apparently is a former carpenter, is in Brooklyn cranking out the set building while Arsenio Hall, along others such as Aiken and Takei, has been tasked with styling the models. Rocker Dee Snider is not in either place. Hes at the hospital getting his finger assessed; it was damaged during last weeks Medieval Times challenge. As it turns out, he needs immediate surgery. This is your fault, Trump, he says before being put under. He does return later, in a full sling. Hall wonders how Snider will be able to do the show with one hand.
We now interrupt this recap for a MAJOR announcement: Amanda, Trumps gloriously underrated secretary, makes an appearance. Yes, contain yourself. Its true. Trumps assistant Amanda, who apparently lurks in the shadows and doubles as Ivankas clothing line employee, helps the men with their styling. Dont worry, however. She barely even gets a word in; her mystique remains intact. The men, however, are having some trouble not even an Amanda sighting can cure. Takei is all over the place, lacking any ability to delegate. As Hall says of Takei and Aikens lack of fashion sense, our gay teammates arent that genre of gay.
The next morning both teams put the final touches on their displays. American Choppers Paul Teutul Sr., who was tasked the day before with making Ivanka Trump signs, apparently messed up in his technical execution. Yet when the displays are finally put into action, they look quite sharp.
The women are also scrambling. Theyd planned to display sketches of Ivankas clothing in one window and pictures of models in the other. However, the model pictures were never printed. ODay responds by reacting on the fly, coming up with a concept where shell act as a designer, blowing kisses to the street audience. Hey, it was last minute. Cut the girl some slack.
As the displays rise hydraulically from the bowels of Manhattan to street level and the curtains are pulled down, both squads hard work is finally on public display. Ivanka, along with Lord & Taylors Devine, assesses both teams work. Takei fumbles through his explanation of the mens windows. The women are far more polished in their presentation. What do the finished displays look like? The mens two windows see Aiken and three models in an office setting in one window and Hall and three models on a red carpet in the other. The womens, comparatively, have Mendoza looking model-y in one and ODay blowing the aforementioned kisses in the other. Ivanka vaguely indicates she doesnt love the mens clothing choices, but that the womens displays look a bit amateurish.
And were now in the boardroom. The women, typically quick to bite each others heads off, are surprisingly civil. Neither Mendoza nor O Day hell, none of them, for that matter will speak badly about their teammates. And the men are equally kind to one another, though there does appear to be some consensus that Takei may have been a bit too hands-off in his leadership approach. After Trumps two sons explain Ivankas assessment of both displays she liked the womans attention to detail but didnt like some of their displays aesthetics, while she felt the men had solid brand messaging but didnt pick out stylish clothing Trump reveals that the womens team has won its first challenge.
The women file out feeling giddy, and for the first time the men must go to battle. But the word battle assumes theres conflict. Its not to be found. For a bunch of strong-wllled dudes, the men come across as tough as a plush teddy bear. Trump starts by announcing that due to his injury Snider is getting a pass this week. The men soon start complimenting one another. What gives? In between the steady stream of man-love being thrown around, it appears that most of the men are in agreement that Takei wasnt a strong leader but that Hall was also to blame for making poor styling and fashion decisions. One of them has to go. Because he has to pick someone else besides Hall to join him back in the boardroom, Takei chooses Lou Ferrigno. Apparently the Hulk-of-a-man misunderstands directions and got in the way.
Back in the boardroom, Takei lies down and lets the bus that is Donald Trump run him over. Yes, it was Hall who made all the awful fashion and styling choices, but Takei essentially concedes. Before giving Takei the verbal sledgehammer to the head, Trump throws in one last compliment. You know who else has the most respect for you, Trump asks after both Hall and Ferrigno profess their undying love for the man. Donald Trump. He may have gotten fired, but at least Takei knows a sleazy billionaire likes him. That has to make the pill at least a bit easier to swallow.
Next Week: As if the product placement isnt already shoved down our throats, next week both teams will be hawking cars more specifically, the new Buick Verano. Prepare for the womens teams boardroom bickering to resume: Debbie Gibson is project manager, and the singer is taking no prisoners.
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