Busty blonde Ivy Lynn may have established herself as Queen Bee last week, but that doesnt mean shes sitting pretty. In fact, it looks like she may be about to learn an age-old lesson: The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Ah, Smash is finally finding its groove.
Trouble starts when moody lothario Derek aka Mr. Love-to-Hate director pulls cutesy chorus girl Karen Cartwright aside to practice some one-on-one moves. While theyre dirty dancing, wannabe girlfriend Ivy walks in and doesnt like what she sees. Nobody puts Ivy in the corner! But they sure can make her want to slither off there on her own . . .
While one ego is being deflated, another is ballooning, as Michael talks Julia into joining him for dinner to discuss his role in Marilyn: The Musical. Over dessert, the former lovers banter about whether the show is a love story, leaving plenty of room for innuendo and goo-goo eyes. Julia gets so caught up in their conversation that she ignores her ringing cell phone. Let the drama begin!
At the same time, Julias bestie, Tom, is on a date of his own although theres zero chemistry between him and the snoozy lawyer his mother set him up with. So little, in fact, that he blows off the guys invitation for a nightcap. (Does anyone actually even say that anymore?)
Looking for any excuse to end the dry second-date, Tom answers a call from Julias teenage son, Leo, whos been arrested for smoking pot in Central Park and cant reach his mother to save his life. You dont say?
Next thing you know, Tom and his boring beau are at the police station picking up the (alleged) stoner. When his date starts spewing legalese trying to get the kid out of trouble with the law, Tom gets turned on. Maybe theres something here after all, eh?
Indeed. After getting Leo off (the hook, that is), Tom and his new man get it on. Post-coitus, they share a laugh about how terrible the sex was. Ah, theres no way you can go wrong with a relationship based on bad sex.
The next day, things go from bad to worse for Ivy when Derek gets pissy with her during rehearsal. Exasperated that shes not hitting the notes, he calls on Karen to reprise her breathy take on Happy Birthday in order to show Ivy how its done. But instead of the sexpot version he got late one night on his casting couch, he gets a weak, meek rendition. Still, its enough for him to order Karen to school Ivy after class.
But you really think the babe-a-licious ingenue is gonna take it lying down? (Ahem . . . ) Think again. When the two rivals are alone, Ivy puts Karen in her place, telling her shell never have what it takes to play Marilyn. Yet Ivy cant shake the feeling that shes losing her grip on the role, and she winds up in tears at the next rehearsal after Derek fails to heap praise on her.
Its kind of apropos that the number shes trying to perfect is called Lets Be Bad, in which Ivy is decked out as a boozy, pill-popping Marilyn whos quickly unraveling just like Ivy herself. When Ivy snaps back to reality and wraps up the song in the rehearsal studio, shes devastated when Derek walks out. Grab some Dramamine. Its tailspin time.
After throwing back a few drinks at a bar, she winds up banging on his door and demanding to know why he keeps humiliating her. His answer, in a nutshell: Im an artist! Deal with it! Now, lets make out!
While Ivy and Derek get it on, Karen works on channeling her inner Marilyn by giving herself a private, chair-straddling striptease in the mirror while singing Its a Mans Mans Mans World. (Sing it, sister!) Then she slips into a slinky red dress and takes that tude to a business dinner with her boyfriend, after which she seduces him in a limo. Talk about a good girl gone bad!
Meanwhile, a very inebriated and very married Michael shows up on Julias doorstep to declare his love for his former flame (also married, memba?). While talking outside her apartment, he busts into song to prove just how much he wants her. They wind up making out like the planes going down.
What kinds of people start an affair on a busy street for all of NYC to see? Not the smartest ones, apparently especially since Julias son has been hanging out the window watching their tonsil-hockey match take place. Drama: 1. Dignity: 0. Game, set, match.
Last episode: The High Cost of Art
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