At this point its safe to say that Johnny Cashs A Boy Named Sue has a more complete character arc in three minutes and 44 seconds than Nashville has had in, what is it now, eight episodes? Sheesh. Following a tense episode last week, last nights installment (and the last episode of 2012) held devastating developments for Rayna and Teddy, but love in the air for Gunnar, Scarlett, Sean and Juliette.
Picking up where we left off , backstage at the Ryman, Rayna and Juliettes duet at the Edgehill Republic anniversary concert was a resounding success, and loathsome Music Row dick pig Marshall Evans immediately decides to release the duos Wrong Song as a live single. He also acquiesces to Raynas request to hire Liam to produce her next record which she twists the label heads arm into saying hes so excited about. So may hes not such a dick pig . . . or at least a somewhat redeemable dick pig. One thing thats clear about Marshall is that hes the kind of person nobody would hang out with unless they had to.
One-upping Unlikeable Marshall, Teddy awkwardly strolls into the dressing room and gets affable with all the shit-eating sincerity of a young Sen. John Edwards: Dont let me stop the celebrating! That was fantastic! You were great out there tonight! he tells Rayna.
Inside the Music of Nashville
Naturally, Teddy does stop the celebrating, taking Rayna home so the couple can have it out over those (marginally) damning photos Coleman took of him and Peggy not fucking. Per Lamars suggestion (i.e., demand), Teddy comes clean about the encounter. And by come clean, I mean spins a yarn about his dirty business partner confiding her marital troubles, because lying is always a good way to repair broken trust in a relationship. Oh, Teddy.
Rayna believes her husband (for now). She confronts Coleman in his office and goes all WTF: Youre gonna drag my family through the mud? . . . You know good and well Teddys not a cheater.
I thought so, too, Coleman retorts as he shows her the pictures. (Sick burn.) If thats not cheating, then what is? he asks.
None of your damn business! she snaps as her decision walks out the door. (Sicker burn.)
Compounding Teddys problems, Peggy is fuh-reeking. The fuck. Out. Showing up at her partner-in-crimes campaign headquarters in tears. Sure, this trumped-up scandal is hell for her, too. But at this point she should be happy shes not still facing time in a white-collar prison thanks to Lamar wiping her dirty, stupid paper trail clean.
In Lamars war room, Rayna interrupts a poli-tricks strategy meeting to chew out Teddy and Lamar, as if Teddy has any actual power or spine and Lamar gives a shit. Anyway, the feud gets all the more fun when Lamars aid consults his iPad and finds that the Teddy/Peggy pics have found their way to the gossip blog DMZ Celebrity News (clever name, doncha think?).
To say the least, Peggy handles this development poorly with pills, and not in the way Jolene handles things with pills. Peggys suicide attempt prompts Rayna to reconsider her faith in Teddys, well, faithfulness. With his back up against the wall (and because financial infidelity, though illegal, isnt as bad a crime as marital infidelity), Teddy finally, actually comes clean to Rayna about the $2 million he and Peggy embezzled. And it only took eight episodes!
I trusted you, Rayna tells Teddy. You still can, he replies. I dont think so, Rayna retorts. (Sick burn.) Though a divorce wont bode well for the Conrad campaign, it will probably give Rayna good lyrical fodder for her new record, and a good enough justification for meeting Deacon for a park-bench heart-to-heart. Hopefully that PI wasnt tailing her.
In the end, Rayna holds an awkward press conference, where she performs a spoken-word adaptation of Stand By Your Man. I did it for our daughters, she whispers in Teddys ear as they embrace for a photo op.
Deacon gets an offer to go on the road with freshly dried-out international rock stars and old friends the Revel Kings. Dont Kings of Leon have a song called Revelry? Is that a reference? Anyway, after an episode of hemming and hawing, Deacon takes the band up on the offer and they toast soda bottles to sex, no drugs and rock & roll.
We end where the show began. Rayna and Juliettes live single reaches Number 15 on the charts, and the co-headlining arena tour is back in the works. And it only took eight episodes!
Reality checks
It seems like Juliette Barnes is pretty popular. Would she really need tour support from her label to hit the road? If Lindsay Lohan can land an acting gig with Lifetime, surely some promoter out there will book Juliette, right?
Also, would a celebrity gossip blog really give two shits about a mayoral election in Tennessee? Probably not.
Previously: Powerball
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